Marriages that crumble into divorce often end on a terribly bitter note. The deep hurt and broken trust that fed the split can be further compounded by the exhausting legal brawl that many times accompanies the divorce process. In the end, each side feels hugely wronged, vehemently detests the other, and is absolutely ecstatic to be unshackled at last from their repulsive former mate.

Surviving widows often had a very different reaction after losing their mate and marriage. Regardless if death was expected or not, gut-wrenching feelings of great loss coupled with anger and resentment were certainly large parts of their overall grieving experience. However unlike divorcees, who focus their rage on their Ex, widow / widowers typically direct their anger at whatever fatal situation took their spouse, be it disease, an accident or other event, a third party, or even God himself … not the lost spouse. So quite the opposite, widows / widowers very often hold a great deal of ongoing sympathy and compassion toward their passed mate.

The large majority will openly welcome the opportunity to recount their wonderful experiences with you. Truth be told, widow(ers) feel this helps you to better understand and connect with them, while it also shows that you’re expressing a sincere interest in them!

So don’t feel shy or awkward, or that you’re callously prying into deeply personal affairs. Compassionately and respectfully ask away!

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